October 12, 2010 at 4:36 pm #1419
I need advice sisters..
I've noticed my son, who's 19, hasn't been happy lately. I chalked it up to the break up of him and his g/f. Due to the fact that they have a baby on the way, I figured this was the reason, and he'd work it out.
Well I found out last night, after he finally opened up to me, that he is feeling much more depressed than I realized. He said Why should I keep on living when there isn't anything to live for That scares me more than anything. He started venting about how he's 19 and still lives at home, how he wants a family with his ex but can't have it, he has a mediocre job, no money, etc..etc. His ex told him he'd never amount to anything and he was a loser so she's not helping the situation.
He said he is tired of praying to God everyday when God obviously doesn't answer- so God is just all b.s. He was crying, angry and just plain sad. My heart was breaking!! Every time I tried to say something he'd tell me to leave him alone, stay out of it, etc. Doesn't want my help at all. I want him to see a dr. but being that he is 19 I can't make him go. He doesn't talk to anyone. Last night was the first words he really said in a week. Today is the same. I tried to be cheerful and talk to him and he just answers with 'yes' or 'no' One word answers.
There have been 3 teen suicides in this area in the last month. Anyone been thru this with your teen?
And if you pray..could you please pray for him. He's name is Kyle.
Thanks for listening <3October 12, 2010 at 4:44 pm #64451
Denise, my heart goes out to you, am sending prayers your way…
Do you have a minister to consult? Could he visit at home when your son is there???October 12, 2010 at 5:04 pm #64452
How terrible, Denise. I'm sorry that is happening to your son. I don't have teenagers, so I'm no help, but I guess if this were happening to my kid, I would just let him know that I love him, and that he is a good person. There are many, many kids at 19 who still live at home or are still completely dependent on their parents because they are going to school. It doesn't make him a loser. The economy makes it tough for young people to be independent. Maybe you can help him come up with a plan to go to school for a trade or something. I feel so bad for you guys.October 12, 2010 at 5:13 pm #64450
Denise I'm so very sorry to hear he is going through this. However, I am glad to hear that he is praying to God and seeking help. One thing my Pastor told me is to always pray the solution and proclaim happiness upon yourself in the name of the Lord. I know I will be praying for him this way and God will work miracles in his life.
"Some cars look like they're going fast when they're standing still. The Camaro looks like it's going to beat you unconscious, put you in a silly hat, invite a couple of other Camaros over to take photos of you, then e-mail them to all your friends and co-workers. Call me crazy, but I like that in a car."October 12, 2010 at 6:22 pm #64455
You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers….don't give up….God is good!!!October 12, 2010 at 6:40 pm #64453
Denise, I am sorry to hear he is going through such a struggle right now. I don't have any answers either. I have had some problems with my son and I do let him know I love him and then I just pray and pray. So, I will pray for Kyle and you.October 12, 2010 at 7:18 pm #64456October 12, 2010 at 7:50 pm #64457
Thoughts and prayers are with all of you right now – what these ladies said is about it – he's ok at home (personally i think his age is normal to be at home, but that could be a geographical thing) and the ex making comments is not helpful, when he wants a relationship with her and the baby – the pastor stopping by while he's home sounds like a great idea – at least he's open to help that way.
This too shall pass, and i pray it's better soon, for all of you.October 12, 2010 at 8:58 pm #64458
Yes Denise, I have been through this with my son at age 13. Just this past year. He had a suicide note that I found. You cannot imagine how fast my heart stopped when I found the note.
I had to drag him to a doc. My son has been on anti anxiety meds since he was 8 and was not taking them regularly.
Telling him you love him is helpful, but he is not hearing it right now. You need to go with him to the doc. You need to drive him.
I also love the suggestions about the pastor having a visit and talking to him, and prayer is a powerful weapon, BUT sometimes depression is so strong that he needs some temporary help.
Prayers for you and your son in this great time of need.October 12, 2010 at 9:16 pm #64459October 12, 2010 at 10:24 pm #64454
Oh Denise, I am so sorry for the pain that your son is going through. In tu, I know you are hurting as well.
Depression is a very difficult thing to deal with, but…It is treatable. I suspect that he is going through rough times because of his situation. At 19, and ready or not, he is going to be someones daddy. His ex is certainly not helping the situation by degrading him. She sounds selfish. What on earth does she want from a 19 year old. This is the time that kids are just starting to find themselves and figuring out what they want to do for the rest of their lives. But he has to know that there is something to live for. A child that is going to need their daddy. He is not the first or the only one to go through this. He is not alone. And to have the love and support from his family is more than some kids would ever get. I know you are making sure that he knows you love and support him, that is a start. If he truly feels suicidal, or so deeply depressed that he cant climb out of the hole without help, then he must know he needs help. It may be only temporary to help him cope with the situation he is in. He may be very confused as to what his role in society is. What are most of his friends doing?? School?? partying?? just hanging out?? I bet not to many are having babies. That has got to be so hard for him. And he sounds scared. But support is a tremendous factor in helping him get on the right track. Depression is TREATABLE…He needs to know that he does not have to feel this way. My very good friend is a physician, she is a clinical psychologist. Valeria Moore. She says that this is a common way of thinking for someone your sons age who is in this type of situation. It may be a cry for help, you may not be able to give him the help he really needs. But it may be just temporary and he may be able to pull out if it on his own. See if he will see someone…I hope and pray that he pulls through this dark spot in his life..And quickly…I will pray for him, and for you as well. Your a good momma..October 12, 2010 at 11:07 pm #64460
So sorry to this, Denise. It's always a tremendous pain when our children are suffering in any way!!!! I don't think it's odd at all that he is still at home either. Hopefully this is temporary and will pass, and he will view things brighter.
My thoughts and prayers are with you!!!! xoxoxoxoOctober 12, 2010 at 11:16 pm #64461
So sorry to hear you are going through this Denise. I would not expect a 19 year old to already be out of their parents home. That's very unrealistic of his ex girlfriend. I would definitely drag him to a therapist. He is so young he doesn't have the life experience to draw on to know that he'll get through this. He may be feeling overwhelmed with all that is going on and needs some coping tools. I will be praying for you honey. Please keep us posted.October 13, 2010 at 12:09 am #64462October 13, 2010 at 2:46 am #64463
So sorry to hear you are going through this Denise. I would not expect a 19 year old to already be out of their parents home. That's very unrealistic of his ex girlfriend. I would definitely drag him to a therapist. He is so young he doesn't have the life experience to draw on to know that he'll get through this. He may be feeling overwhelmed with all that is going on and needs some coping tools. I will be praying for you honey. Please keep us posted.
I agree wqith Lisa!! My prayers are with you and your son.
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