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  • #4042

    I am not one to let my private life out to the general public…But you guys are my friends. So I will let you know the reason for my absence the past couple of days. Without going onto to much detail. I am not at home. I am out of town due to a family emergency. I have 2 healthy parents who have been caring for my 97 years old grandmother by themselves for the last 2 years. In 2 years, my parents stress level from bad to worse. My mom hurt her back a couple of weeks ago lifting my grandmother and ended up in the hospital leaving my dad to care for my grandmother on his own (my moms mom) My dad just lost his brother to a totally unexpected heart attack last month. He was his life line. He has fallen into a deep depression over his brothers death and caring for my grandmother and watching my mother suffer a s well. My mothers brother, embezzled all of my grandmothers money plus her million dollar home. no money left…Nothing except her SS check. My dad ends up in the hospital after a breakdown. My mom gets out of the hospital because my dad needs her. He gets out and is in an extremely fragile state. They both put my grandmother in a nursing home yesterday and both fall apart today. My mom collapses and is shaking and crying uncontrollably from grief, guilt, pain and anxiety. My brother and Gabbie and I take her back to the hospital. My aunt and uncle (dads youngest brother) come down from South Carolina to help us, they stay with my dad while we get my mom admitted. She is a wreck. Dad is a wreck. He has lost 40 pounds since my uncles death. He cannot accept his death. He is not thinking rationally and the psychiatrist says he is having a mental breakdown from depression and anxiety. My dad or mom have never has a depression before. This is horrible to watch. We are all besides ourselves. I am exhausted. almost 3am and I am just getting back from the hospital. So this is the reason for my absence. Please understand. We are trying to convince our parents to downsize. They don't need this 6000 sf home on the water. My grandmother will be OK. She will be taken care of and with with daily visits from my parents when they are well, they can stay on top of her care.
    We are left with 2 very fragile parents who need us right now. So 2 of us are here, the other 2 will arrive at the end of next week. I need to go home on Sunday because I work on Monday. Gabbie needs to go back to work and school as well…Steve is home taking care of grandpa.(his dad)
    Who's feeling guilty now….me of course…I don't know what else to do.

    #151244

    Snagg1
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      (massive hug) I know how absolutely heartbreaking and scary it is to have a loved one have a mental breakdown. There are no words to describe the depth of that feeling. This is a long and fragile road. I'm so sorry you are spread so thin and are trying to be the rock for everyone, but honey you need to give yourself the space to fall apart before you end up on the receiving end of someone's care. It is not easy to be doing what you are doing AND keeping all of your crap in one bag KWIM? You don't have to. I always broke down when no one was around and then picked myself up, painted on a smile and was the strong one for my family when they could see me, especially Sydney. Oh, doll…I really wish I could be there to give you a hug. Please know that you are all in my prayers. I'm a phone call away. Love you.

      #151246
      Krissy
      Krissy
      Swirly Admin
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        I am so sorry to hear about your family. Hugs and prayers for you and your loved ones!

        #151247
        Krissy
        Krissy
        Swirly Admin
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          OH Lisa…. my heart goes out to you and Gabbie and your whole family…. I will be praying for all you during these hard times….

          #151245

          craftysprinkles
          Swirly Scrapper
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            LisaV's advise is perfect: you HAVE to let it out every so often, that's the healthy thing to do. I have a feeling that Steve's broad shoulders are there for you when you need them and please remember that there are limits to virtual venting, but there is no limit to the love that your Swirly Sisters have for you!!!!!
            With {{{{{HUGS}}}}} along with my thoughts and prayers for you, your parents and for all your family…

            #151243

            Snagg1
            Member
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              AHHH Lisa sorry to hear this. You have to do what you need to do for your parents then do for yourself. Don't forget to breathe. You are doing all the right things. Take care.

              #151248
              Krissy
              Krissy
              Swirly Admin
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                Lisa, so so sorry. This is a lot, a LOT. Hang in there it will get better. Even though they're all suffering, they're where they need to be to get better. Your grandma will be taken care of, your mom will heal better in the hospital, and your poor dad will get the treatment he needs. How wonderful that your family is all rallying around to help them. That love and caring will carry you through this difficult, difficult time. Hugs and prayers to you and your family.

                #151249
                Krissy
                Krissy
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                  Lisa I am so sorry that this has happened to you and your family. Lisa and Peggy said it..let it out and try to take care of you. You know we are all here for you
                  {HUGE HUGS}

                  #151250

                  Oh wow Lisa. My thoughts and prayers are with your family. I cannot imagine the difficulties.

                  (hugs) to you

                  #151251
                  Krissy
                  Krissy
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                    Well, first of all God Bless your parents for taking on caring for your grandmother all by themselves. That truly speaks to their character. Sometimes it helps people understand the situation better when they look at it from a different perspective. For example, now that your parents have the experience of caring for their parents, I bet their ideas around their own future care have changed. They would never want to inconvenience their own children or be a burden and may even fight you tooth and nail if you try to care for them later. This is probably exactly where darling grandmother is right now. She doesn't judge your parents and only wants the best for them. Even if she is upset right now (which would be understandable), she will know in her heart that they did their very best. And like most parents, all that really matters to her is that her child is happy and healthy. It will take some time, but hopefully your parents will show the same compassion to themselves that they so freely give to everyone else.

                    And everyone already said it…take care of you!! We're here for you when you need us!! Huge hugs and prayers your way!

                    #151252

                    Lisa, I'm so sorry to hear about your family. Do what you need to do, to take care of YOURSELF, and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours…..

                    #151253

                    Lisa, I am so sorry to hear about what your family is going through right now! I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers. And like everyone else has said, please find time to take care of you, also!

                    #151254

                    craftysprinkles
                    Swirly Scrapper
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                      Wow, Lisa, that's awful. I'm so sorry for all of you. Wishing for strength and healing for you all. {{{{{Hugs}}}}}

                      #151255
                      Krissy
                      Krissy
                      Swirly Admin
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                        Oh, Lisa, I'm so so sorry your family is gowing through all this! I'm praying for you all!! ((HUGS))

                        "Some cars look like they're going fast when they're standing still. The Camaro looks like it's going to beat you unconscious, put you in a silly hat, invite a couple of other Camaros over to take photos of you, then e-mail them to all your friends and co-workers. Call me crazy, but I like that in a car."

                        #151257

                        oh Lisa… I'm so sorry tho hear all this hon. Hang in there sweetie. Big hugs!

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